30. The wife of Founder's college-friend and boss (Late Revered Sister Taraben Soparkar) was on death-bed suffering from Septicemia. The friend got the Founder transferred from Ahmedabad to Poona to help him in the calamity. The wife was lying upstairs. She said to her husband, "I am hearing the Mantra repetitions of some Matajee's devotee. I am on-death-bed, so please find him out round about our bungalow streets and let me have his Darshan." The friend took the Founder and went round in search and assured her that there was none and that it was her mental weakness. She asserted she was right and requested him to seek out the devotee once more. The friend told her "Not only I, but even 'Dholakia Kaka' accompanied me for the search". She exclaimed, "What! has he come? It must be then he. Please call him up". She repeated the same Shloka which the Founder was then repeating mentally unheard by anyone. [ दुर्गे स्मृता हरसि भितिमशेषजन्तोः स्वस्थैः स्मृता मतिमतीव शुभां ददासि ।दारिद्र्यदुःखभयहारिणी का त्वदन्या सर्वोपकारकरणाय सदाआर्द्रचित्ता ।। ]
The said Shloka of Saptashati in fourth Adhyaya (Durge Smrite etc.) means this. "Oh, Mother Durga ? On remembering Thee, Thou art removing all types of fears from all sources, and of all and from all persons. On remembering Thee, with an established mind, mood and meditation, Thou art giving the discrimination and the deciding true intellect towards Righteousness. Who is there? anyone else? except Thee? to remove all misery and poverty, etc.? Thou art with Thy heart that is ever saturated with mercifulness to shower Thy Grace at beck and call, for the fulfilment of any demand of the right-type, of Thy devotees".
This Shloka was repeated by her, to assure the Founder that he was a recognised devotee and that she was a worthy recipient of his Darshan and blessings. That was a happy wonder.
A drawing professor was coaching the friend's daughter. He inquired of the future of the lady from a Pandharpur saint. The saint foretold, that her days were finished but added "There however is a Saint in his house, out of courtesy to whom she is not being taken away. The day he leaves the bungalow, she would expire" The friend enlightened by the first experience suspected that the saint in his bungalow was none else but the Founder and, as he was the head of the department, kept him all hours confined to his bungalow by way of precaution, asking him to do his official work at that place.
31. On 3-10-1931, the case was entirely serious. Three eminent doctors of Kirkee, Poona and Bombay, declared she would die within an hour or so ; and two left relinquishing their fees. The worst news was broken by the husband to his friend who tried to strengthen his courage to meet the calamity. The husband vociferated. "What a coward's talk? I am sure, if you heartily pray, she will atleast live longer and give me sufficient time to prepare for the worst." The founder had very little of confidence in the efficacy of his prayers for the almost impossible change, but he had to follow him, upstairs. He prayed with his whole heart and devotion standing near the pillow of the lady in the midst of so many silently weeping children and relatives, (nearly ninety persons). The pulse, speech and vision had left the body. On prayer, the Founder's tears fell in her mouth, the pulse speedily went up, vision and speech returned and the eyes opened. Her words were "How can I like to leave this world?? leaving behind me the uncared-for children"!!!. "I see MATAJI standing before me. She says if you fast for a day she will give me a week's extension. Will you not promise doing that for me?" The promise was given hand in hand and the improvement began with most unimaginable speed. Just half an hour after, she asked for milk, fruit-juice, etc. It was an unprecedented family joy. She was hale and hearty, as though she was never ill.
32. Some believed, and some did not, in God's hand in all these details. But almost every one including the husband thought she was saved permanently. On the 7th day, the temperature however rose up from the morning. The husband was too shrewd ro remain any longer under delusion. The whole story looked true. She was to go that day. He had a hysteric fit from which he was made to recover to composure after consolation by his friend. At 3 p.m., there was a phone from the Secretariat asking the husband to send certain confidential files under lock and key. He could not possibly leave her. The Founder was given keys and motor-driver was ordered to drive fast and the Founder was given strict orders not to waste a single minute in the office. On reaching office, the head clerk informed him that the lady had expired as soon as he had placed his foot outside the bungalow.
33. Although the Founder had so many experiences before, they were all scarce, scattered and few and far between. Here, there was a continued episode which baffled all human solutions: She was herself a great devotee of Matajee. She actually heard the Mantra which the Founder was simply mentally chanting. The prophecy of the Pandharpur saint and its fulfilment were wonders. She saw Mother and heard Her words. A fast of a particular devotee earned the Mother's Grace of the boon of a week's life extension. All these happenings began revolving in Founder's mind, finally resulting in an over-powering sense of his ingratitude to the Mother.
Said he, "Should I be simply living pleasure-dipped and fully ungrateful to my Mother? She has so often protected me all along and shown Herself to me and I have not breathed a single syllable to the world about Her mercifulness and Her dying for Her devotees". This one idea drove off all other ideas, even those required to sustain himself in daily routine. He became semi-lunatic, weeping day and night and beating his forehead, sometimes against walls, rolling on ground, and saying only one thing, "I am a wretch, most ungrateful creature. Even such a simple thing as glorification of Thyself, I have not done." (Please mark here with the subtle sense of a devotee. Mother fills up Her devotees with any one of various and different types of desires as one word of their life ; in his case, the desire she germinated was that of the glorification of Mother.)
34. He had to go on a long leave. Doctors consulted diagnosed that he had no disease whatsoever. He had Divine madness. The best medicine was constant talk about Mother and Mother's occupation within his hearing and seeing. This was a furnace period, during which there was a wholesale over-hauling drastic change, in the Founder's religious outlook. All the pride of Hinduism, Vedas, Brahmins (he himself being a Nagar the highest Brahmin in Gujarat) and the belittling of other religions as mere pits compared to the vast ocean of Hinduism,- evaporated. He was seized with the desire of glorifying mother and reviving Hinduism in the light of his studies of different religions and an extremely minute observation as to the weak and strong points of Hinduism,-taking a practical view and studying Hindu life as to how people believed and behaved, thought and viewed. Strangely and wonderfully, Mother finally commanded him to install Her as "Mai"- " The Universal Divine Mother."
35. "God as Mother, Mother of all, propitiable with universal love, service, devotion and unconditional cheerful self-surrender." These six words and expressions he would often hear in the air and would read written on walls and on the ceiling between joist-gaps and on closed doors and windows. (It is because of this supremely wonderful experience that these words are dearest to the Founder). He pleaded his full unworthiness for such an innovation and requested Mother to find out some efficient Shastri well versed in Sanskrit sacred lores, or a Brahmachari, or a rich Sheth, or a religious Gadi-pati with an overflowing treasury. The more he tried to evade, the more did Mother sit on his heart and head, till the sweet talk became artificially embittered and wrathful "What do you prefer? Installing me as Mai with the dictated 6 tenets, or, life-long present semi-lunacy?"
36. The Founder finally gave the promise to Mother, and so-to-say escaped, on giving a promise, in order to avert semi-lunacy. His recovery was marvellously quick after promise and he returned to Poona and rejoined his service. Since the day of the expiry of his friend's wife, he had left all religious pathas-reading, worshipping, reading religious literature, etc. as likely to augment his malady. He had after going to Poona a world of reminders from Mother almost every week not to be losing time regarding the fulfilment of his promise of installing Her and declaring Her as " Mai ".
37. But he was too conscious of the crushing responsibility, to so easily yield. He went on procrastinating and giving adjournments to Mother. Mother could see the need of a more tangible and solid proof to convince him of the reality of Her command. She said to Herself, "He needs the proofs like the return of the image pictures, etc., at the time of his river initiation". Two persons one in Calcutta and the other in Mysore (Shemoga) were given command in dreams to go over to the city of Poona and deliver Her Message of Installing Mother. Both were staunch devotees of full faith. Both of them found out the Founder and delivered the Mother's message. These things are unimaginable today. None would believe today that there can be such blind-faithed persons as would start for Poona because of a simple dream, without knowing where to go and whom to meet. The founder was so struck in highest serenity he said to them, "You tell Mother, there are many much higher devotees than myself who would most easily carry out Mother's command, requiring Her merely to guide them and give them only broad instructions from time to time. It is they that are most fitted for being Her message-carriers."
38. It will be a bulky thing to give all details of conflicting emotions, although so very interesting. Two persons coming down for the only purpose of delivering the message was something too great to be taken lightly. That put Founder to an indescribable shame about his obstinacy and suspiciousness. In spite of so many eye-to-eye experiences of vision and audition, he was too hard a nut to crack.
39. One great advantage of these experiences was that his attitude towards persons who are too stubborn to believe things, had become extremely liberal and charitable. Often he said to himself, "If a man of my experience with wholw life-long personal contact is not ready to blindly follow Her as She dictates, out of a suspicious nature about the reality, and is not prepared to proceed one step without a thousand considerations, lest there be something wrong to befall him, how hard it should be for average persons to give implicit obedience to various religious commands and requirements, conflicting with their usual true beliefs and further with their immediate in-hand happiness and pleasure?" The Founder believes taking a long and solid view that unless there is the special God's or Guru's grace, and unless one exerts most determinedly and single-mindedly, every man is practically no better (perhaps often worse) religiously and spiritually, than what he was when born. Solid and substantial progress is an extremely slow matter. It is this truth that is conveyed by the Hindu tradition of eighty-four lacs of lives being required by an average man to pass through, for attaining salvation.
40. Anyway, he got ashamed of himself. Said he with a sigh, "I am surely a man without faith. In a way, I have faith in the reality of what I have seen and heard, but I have no faith in myself and no faith in Mother making me fully-fitted for the uphill unique task. Nor has my own self (I and mine) been so annihilated as to make me enabled for making the necessary sacrifice, large or small." He was extremely nervous and terribly afraid of how people would consider his act, and of their defaming him by attributing highest impudence, hypocrisy and blasphemy. He had no idea then of any opposition, obstruction, secret animosity, cold indifference, hypocrisy, temporary sweetness during the period of need, invariably followed with a callous and impudent goodbye, etc. He took it for granted that, the world was comprised of men, of whom those that were called and known as religious, were as much craving for spiritual progress as himself. His golden outlook showed him the society to be an ocean of milk with only 5 to 10 per cent of bad persons and those too were easily knowable and known. He knew white things and black things as they appeared at the skin but had absolutely no idea of black things concealed in white ones. The worst result that he could then imagine was a ridiculing by the said 10 per cent black class, whereas he hoped 90 per cent would hail him up as the opener of the spirituality door closed to the worldly men groping in the dark and would help him with all its might to establish a permanent way.
His early thoughts were that the religious world was gasping for a much superior spiritual living but that religious preachers or custodians were too conservative, cold and uncompromising. If a via media were chalked out between and out-and-out orthodixical interpretation of religion and the the modern unbridled irreligiosity, the society would be most admirably religiously improved, and therefore really happy.
His later experience (after 1945) however made him inclined to believe that the masters were simply to be pitied. The pupils were too strong for the masters, had absolutely no desire of improving, and had all along the cleverness of raising master-pretexts after pretexts, laying the whole blame on the masters and on the world for their and the world's spiritual deadlock and degeneration.
He said, "Between a rich and a poor, an employer and an employee, an aristocrat and a servant, a guru and a shishya, a master and a pupil, a parent and a child, an elder and a youngster, a senior and a junior, somehow, our first modern democratic superficial judgment is always in disfavor of the former and most sympathetic favour of the latter. After quite a mature experience, we often come to a wonderful realisation, that our former judgment was likely to have been one-sided and inexperienced."
He stated "Opinions change, and they must change with new experiences, as they have changed in past. Tomorrow my views may change, but today my decision in the matter of the relationship between the teachers' world and taught's- world is "Jaisa Lala, Vaisa Keeka". As is the father, so is the son, and as is the son, so is the father. The external defects are at once immediately visible to any passer-by. The internal shoe-pinch only the wearer knows."
The Founder so often expressed himself thus: "I am standing on a pinpoint of suspense. I do not know which way Mother takes me further. Towards inaction or action? Towards "retirement and leaving the world to itself" or towards "do and die for the duty believed by me to have been entrusted to me"?. Most likely thing, however, is that the former mentality will pass away as a cloud and the latter will retain its possession till my death. "It seems, I will remain optimistic till the last moment, as my belief about 'no good action remains barren without its fruit' is too strongly implanted and too deep-rooted in me to dwindle under the severe-most frosts and hail-storms of the world."
"I am waiting for further illumination by Mother. Which is the correct understanding? Or are both understandings true? At least, which one is leading to the way meant for me"?, "to leave the world to its own lot and not be foolishly wasting my own energy over an unimprovable hopeless condition and an unsuccessful effort" or "to be patiently continuing to do what, I believe, I am entrusted with, in spite of no tangible proofs and visible and provable results"?
Nothing is done in a day and nothing with the solitary efforts of a single man, and yet, all the same, the man who evades a duty is a sinner.
"Which people are the wiser? The Himalayan cave-residers? or The Religion-preachers of the mass, doing their best in the midst of common and cold and world-dipped men?? Perhaps, Mother needs them both. But then, what is the way Mother has selected for me?? From action to inaction, or to more vigorous action at least at this stage of Her intentions??
"Mother alone knows. She is the Disposer, but all the same, the breath-holding suspense, though painless, does remain".
"Is it not that it pleases our imaginative poetic and romantic brains, to say Action is for leading us to Inaction? Perhaps our childishness invites a thrill of a contrast of a wetness turning to dryness and a day turning to a night. The world and we feel a certain pleasure in glorifying failures. The truth only those that tread the spiritual path know and there too, one's experience and next step is not bound to be the same as the other's. For some, action may lead to inaction, for others, to still more vigorous action; and both may be right. The end of the range is no doubt 'inaction'. But how long is the range, Mother alone knows. Ours is to wait and watch and pray, for illumination as to the way individually selected and decided by Mother for each one of us."
"When these questions 'what and how little does a man knwo about himself or even an atom of the universe and what is he capable of doing' stand before me, my heart as it were stops and my brains get bewildered and staggered, on seeing the world still revolving most speedily in larger and larger whirlpools, in darkest ignorance as to what it is busy with, to what purpose, to what end? and driven by what and whom??. My only prayer to the Mother is not to be illuminated on that unfathomable mysteriousness but to be exempted and set aside as useless for anything-else except lying in Her Lotus Feet, wishing nothing and living as nothing."
The aforesaid fact of his lackness of faith and immaturity of his soul, he so often said then to his nearest Mai devotees. Said he then, "I love Mother most passionately, but I am too weak to undertake a risk requiring sacrifice; and as to my faith in Mother, the one that would give me a conviction, viz. "SHe would not remain silent when I would be unhappy", "i am still an immature and a Kachcha (weak) man, in spite of so many experiences."
41. He decided to be tricky with Mother and to get Her to agree to let Her fad go once for all, but he could not succeed. On the other hand, Mother directly repeated Her threat. " Tell Me in one word once for all, what do you prefer- "Installation" or "lunacy?"
42. The Founder had no go and with a sorrowful laughter he sat down to stipulate terms with Mother, as he had done before, when he had begun hundred repetitions of Sapta Shati. He made a Sankalpa (a resolution) pouring sacred water-offering to the Mother, " If there is an entirely new building of which the first indweller is myself, if I enter it on a Friday, if by evening there is a dazzling light, if there is a basket of "mithai" fruits received that day, if three girls and two men knock my door at 9-30 P.M. (wintry night), if they press me to install Thee, if at 10-30 P.M. I find Mother's picture in any shop, if at 11 P.M. I find some shop open wherefrom I can purchase worshipping materials and lastly if at 11-30 P.M. some " Mali " (Garland hawker) brings me a most beautiful garland befitting Thee and the occasion, then I shall not hesitate and I shall not fail to install Thee and declare Thee and Thy religion."
43. Each and every condition was so very wonderfully and admirably fulfilled. He was getting surer and surer as one condition after another came up attaining fulfilment, and when finally a hawker shouted out " HAR " " HAR " (" garland ", "garland") he burst into tears on hearing that shout. He began to beat his breast and forehead " Mother, Thou hast finally caught me. Could you not find any other man, who is more worthy than myself?" The five consoled him with the sweetest words. " SHe would do Her own work. Who is more blessed than yourself? Why should you lose heart and courage? Where is the question of your worthiness or unworthiness, at all, sir, when She Herself has chosen you??"
44. Mother was installed at 12 P.M. midnight on 2-9-1932. Said he to all that had gathered, " From today, I am a Mai-ist ; from today, my religion is " God as Mother, Mother of all, propitiable on living the life of universal love and service, with devotion, and unconditional cheerful self-surrender". "Krishna, Mohammad, Christ, Jarthost, Buddha and every Founder of any religion is my Mother's (Mai's) illustrious son. From now, Bible or Koran is as venerable and worshippable to me as Geeta. A Mohammedan lady will find the same shelter in my home as a Hindu lady under the communal riot. (This actually happened). I will continue to pray God as I have prayed till now, with equal intensity of love and devotion, whether in a Hindu mandir, or a Mohammedan Masjid, or a Christian Church, or a Zarathustrian Agora, or an Israelite Synagogue. No more religious differences; the devotion of Mother is necessarily the devotion of Mother's children. I am a changed religious man from this moment." Said the Founder, "I install Mai today. I declare Mai-ism today". "Let it be known to one and all of my friends. Let the world if so minded now commence its work of ridiculing, defaming, censuring, suppressing, harassing and crushing me and the Mai movement."
45. News spread around. The nearest people were Theosophists and Harijans. Some educated Harijans who were taking a great interest in religion and who had joined Theosophical Lodge of which the Founder was a prominent figure, had the most reverential regard for the Founder, especially because of his rationalistic and universalistic outlook,- the man who was Love and Mercy, himself with an innocent childlikeness and who was happily blessed with the most intense devotion. People began calling him " Second Ramakrishna ", "Mother's CHild", "Mother" or "Maiji", actually addressing him as "Mother" or "Maiji". The Founder had a terrible exhaustion after the installation night, which lasted for three days. He was religiously different now. On the third night, he had a pleasant dream, in which he saw a vast open lawn in which there were innumerable ladies of all religions. He interpreted this to mean that Mother desired a congregation of ladies in strict purdah (with no gents and boys) of all religions, in commemoration of Her Installation. In spite of so many difficulties, a sisters' social of over 300 sisters of all religions presided by Mrs. E.T. Choudhari of Bengal on Dashera day (9-10-1932) in Poona became a fait accompli, (a fact accomplished). By one and all that attended, it was called " Mother's Miracle".
EXTRACT FROM THE BOOK : MAI-ISM [ 777 NOTES, 734 PAGES ]
AUTHOR : MAI SWARUP MAI MARKAND [ EDITIONS : 1952 & 2007 ]
PUBLISHED AND PRINTED BY : UNIVERSAL MAI-ISM TRUST, SARASWATI ROAD END, SANTA CRUZ [ WEST ], MUMBAI 400054 INDIA.
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