291. The midnight hour of the Friday night of 4-3-1949 was a memorable moment for the Founder, when he entered Mai Niwas. Every man has his own history and the real history of every great man in the world , is entirely in oblivion. That is so for the main reason already explained viz., that the world does not want it. None likes entering kitchen of the host , full of smokes, dirts and things lying in sixes and sevens.The host must get hings prepared and serve his guests with a smiling face on the luxurious dinners table.The class of dinners-inviters are however exceptions and they do relish certain things which the dinners are getting headache to be bored with.This book is written wholly for them that have desirous of " becoming " and who are in the end , to be the servers , and not the dinners.
The founder had not informed a single soul about his desire to enter Mai Niwas on that particular night.He had a strong desire to enter it alone, because he did not know how he would pass that first night with Mother, whether he would be weeping profusely or faint or he would have the Mother's vision or some revelations be made and what not. One thing he was sure of , something would take place . At about eleven that night, some Mai-ist came to see him off on the Grant Road Station.He insisted on accompanying him.He said he would leave him in his place " Mai Niwas " and return. The Founder could not divulge his intention. He declined his company as courteously as he can, but the other man purchased two second class tickets and got into the train hurriedly and accompanied him to Santa Cruz.On reaching the Santa Cruz station , the Founder had to make it clear," You may go back.I want to enter Mai Niwas all alone." The man however could not understand the mystic force behind his very forceful request ; and purely with the only idea of kindness and goodness beckoned a taxi-walla to come up, saying that he would leave the Founder and return in the same taxi. Before however the taxi came up, he had such an intense stomach-ache that he could not stand on the ground. He actually fell down on the ground.The taxi-waallaa seeing the miserable plight turned his wheel and went away to the east through the crossing.The Founder and the Mai-ist , without a word being talked over, understood each other in their own minds. " Mother is insistent on the Founder entering the Mai Niwas all alone." The Founder most entreatingly said," You speak out that you are not going to accompany me and are returning straight from here , Mother will remove your pain immediately."The man helplessly said,"Yes, if Mother and you are insistent on that point, I am surely returning." Just at that moment, the pain disappeared, a train was then just getting into yard and without any further exchange of words , he ran to the station, just as so many men do,to catch their trains in mornings while going to their offices.
The Founder was in a way trembling within himself. This incident made him sure , something unusual was in store for him that night.It was practically two minutes to twelve when he reached the Mai Niwas door.He opened it. It was a ground floor building with vast vistas of open lands on all its sides., a solitary construction with the nearest building,far away. The west was unbuilt right upto the sea. He did not know anyone there. It was a dark night. No streetlamp nearby. He felt the fear.There was none to save him if he was attacked from any of the sides.
He searched for a candle packet and the match box packet at the nearest spot, where he had placed them, when he last visited. They were not there. This made his heart throb with fear. " What ? Had Mother intended that he be laboured that night ?" He stood on the otta for nearly twenty minutes, and then laughed outright at the idea how Mother exacts and snatches hymns and prayers from Her devotees. Her worship praise and prostration, etc, are at the point of bayonet, striking fear and showing actual pictures of the doomed fate . for the first time, he got such an intense meaning of what was meant by a boo-giving -hand and a deadly weapon in another. It meant something which so many devotees daily worshipping seldom realise. It meant "If you are straight devotional good kind philanthropic , Divine -Law-Obedient, there is none so kind and Merciful as Myself to protect you, to save you, to uplift you, to emancipate you.But if you are crooked, God-denying, wicked, cruel, selfish and sinful, just look at the deadly weapons in my other hands. Just see my hands with decapitated head and a sword. Just see my garland of human skulls."
He had a tremor passing through the whole body. There was no light, no man to shout to or approach. At that dead night hour , how can he go to his acquaintances in Santa Cruz ?? Shouting in Bombay after twelve is a social crime. He made bold to get in the black dark near the Mother's picture allowing the outside faintest light to relieve his fear, by keeping the doors open.
The first experience of his life. The Mother's picture was Kali like.He began to sweat and perspire. For the first time he got a different picture of his beliefs. " Was he all along under a delusion ? Was the " Mother Ideal " only a human making of his own brains ? In reality and actuality was mother, Kali ?? Was not the Mother conception which he had entertained , one of the aspects of Kali, instead of the actual thing being that Kali was one of the aspects of Mother, as he believed and taught till now , from 1932 to 1949 ?? "
"Which was true ? Mother appeared temporarily as Kali ? Just at this hour ? Or that Kali had allowed Herself to be worshipped and being preached as Mother, till now ??"
He prostrated. He would be for few minutes inside with Mother and then ten times those minutes outside on the otta in the open , wherefrom he can see the outside , if anyone is coming to deal with him in a hurtful manner.
He passed over an hour. He decided with a great courage to lift up the image , carry it to the otta and sleep on the otta. He was on the point of doing a sacrilegious work . If it was Mother, any handling with Her was excusable , but if it was Kali ??Mother, he can take in his arm-pit, but, Kali ? the glistering sword, thirsty of human blood, was there.
He mustered up all courage . He decided first to pray as " Mother " and then reconcile both conceptions. When there is a dead silence , one that dares to break that silence gets more afraid. He thought of slowly singing but his sound can not come out of the throat. He hoped he would overcome this terrifying fear by making his mind to absorb in the Mother's ocean of Love.
Sang he to himself, Karunaa Sen Abataka Badhaa, Karunaasen MiliMaai
करूणासे अबतक बढा करूनासे मिली माई
karunaasen Dukh Maaranaa ho Karunaa Chhoti na Jaai
करूणासे दुःख मारना हो करूणा छुटी न जाई
" I have grown old, faring ( with my life and world ) with Thy Mercy alone. It is with Thy Mercy alone that i have gained Thee, Oh Mother( I have no merit of my own).It is only out of pity for the suffering world that I have preached Thee ( with no other ambition or gain-desire), even inviting misery and death. Now I only pray that my pity may not get relaxed and your Mercy on me may not be at all diminished."
" Jo Kucha Kiyaa, So tune Kiyaa, Men Kachhu Jaanata Naai.
जो कुछ किया सो तुनेकिया मै कछु जान त नाई
Teri Tunhi Samaala le, men Japa Rahaahun Maai.
तेरी तुही संभाल ले , मै जप रहा हु माई
Whatever have been done , is done by Thee. I know not a bit of it. You matters , you take charge and care of. i am only for sitting in a corner at Thy Lotus Feet, all while repeating Thy name Jay Maai "
As he went on repeating these two couplets , on one side of his fear was getting vanished , his conviction was coming up " Mother's one aspect was Kaali," but more strange than both was the phosphorescent increasing light that the Mother's Image was getting.
He had a limitless joy which was increasing from minute to minute as he found the image was gaining in light by his alternative repetitions of " Jay Mai Jay Markand Mai " and the two couplets. The light radiating from the image was spreading aura and brightness of 5, 10, 15, 20 and higher and higher watts electric bulb.
He had now the fullest courage . He had tears of joy and relief . During the period of fright or a calamity , a man keeps up his courage , but when both disappear and one's own person or protector comes up, tears begin to flow and the heart is leaping to unburden itself, by narrating to the smallest detail.
Said he," If you have to be, You be Kaali if you like, to the wicked world, but don't punish me for praying to Thee for being Mother to one and all, righteous or wicked. Be, as you think best, if that can be straighten only on realising the terrors of Thy wrathfulness. To me , you remain Mother." " don't you see how timid and trembling I am ? More than a woman, a lamb or a deer ?" " To me atleast, you be Mother. for others, you know best what to be and to whom."
He became a bit free, constraint ridden , smileful and liberty-taking with Mother, as Her child.
"You made me so , is it not ?"
Said he laughingly," You won't retain phosphorescent light all night over. So I take you out. We shall both be sleeping together on the otta. " He was not certain when the light would get extinguished . So he most hurriedly took out his carpet and spread it on the otta and went to lift the image."
As he thrust his both hands behind the back of image , his hand touched some packets. He pulled them out.In one hand came the candle packet and in another the match-box packet.
The Founder's suspicious nature did not leave him even there.He felled in to thought world ocean of recollection , to ascertain and decide if it was not he who had by mistake put the packets behind the image in stead of the nearest window sill ??
He asked himself," Might it be ? That someone who accompanied him the previous day wisely thought , someone would take them away from the window , and so better place them behind the image !! "
As soon as that idea came , that last ideas coming up synchronised with the Mother's light disappearing !!!
He was sorry. His wrinkles went up. He condemned himself for his suspicious nature , but at the same time not without a feeling of repulsiveness at the idea of Mother's ways being so unrelenting.
His brains began to recollect two previous experiences. One when there was a light at one of the Bombay suburbs in a kitchen when he prayed and which remained for nearly half and hour ( refereed to later ). The other when in Vile Parle a blaze appeared from the altar. This was the third experience of the type. There were some more, as when he runnigly passed through dark nights after midnight sometime , but they were of lights which did not last longer than two to three minutes. This was in Ahmedabad , when one night he grew very desperate and left his house with " This is Thy world and its response to Thy work. Thou and Thy world, do whatever you like. I have nothing to do with Thy world from today."As he went out in the streets, one after another, every fourth or fifth bungalow ( right from Pritamnagar to Bhadra Kali ) showed switching on of lights. His vexation turned to an outright laughter saying," Thy highest pleasure, it seems, is vexing me. Instead of switching electric lights, what don't you switch on the true illumination lights of everyone that can help Thy cause and work ?" He got consoled , laughed fully and returned home happy.
He also remembered and laughed at his folly., when he had got wrathful in Ahmedabad Hospital on Mother ceasing to attend on him, because he had a suspicion.
He accepted this time Mother's decision. " If after so much experience , I am nothing better than a street man. Mother is more than fully justified in withdrawing Her presence ." He yielded, biting his lips though without condemning himself for his superstitious nature , rather than atheistic nature.
To think more about the matter was to displease Mother. One does not know which moment he is completely safe , if he has a full picture of what can happen at the very next second of the safest position. It is often that our ignorance keeps up our drunkenness, impudence, bravery and courage. The more a man is able to realise the whole picture of things that can happen, the more lamb-like meek and docile and yielding and humble and almost servile he becomes.
Just as a child that has committed something wrong keeps complete silence and engages itself in some harmless occupation , wishing that Mother may also forget or at least forgives, the Founder unmurmuringly lighted the candle with the match-box and placed the candle in the nearest window and began to repeat his " Jay Mai Jay Markand Mai."
But the terribleness was not yet complete over. A wind-blow out the candle and he a black-figure, with a hat looking through the bars of the window. Was it a mental fear ?? Was it an apparition, a ghost, a specter, a phantom ?Was it some thief or robber ? The figure was moving in its body. The Founder in a tremulous voice , with an artificial sound strength shouted ," Kon ", " Who "? The reply was" Kholo.","Open". The Founder lighted another candle , not daring to go near the window where the first candle stood. and just within few inches therefrom the figure was standing. The Founder opened the door.
The way in which the stranger got in , gave the Founder the reason to be sure , there was nothing like a danger. The man got in, stood in front of him, salaamed him in a quick military alert manner. When he salaamed, not only all fear disappeared but the Founder had the joy , he had perhaps a companion for the whole night . For it was nearly two o'clock and he can show kindness of " Where can you go so late ? you better sleep here and go in the morning ". He began to think he would ask some friend (B.C.W.) of his to sleep with him from the next day till the place become fearless.
The following conversation followed. " Who are you, Sir ? Are you the owner ? " " No.The Owner is this Mother." ( Pointing out the Image ). I am only Her worshipper and preacher. What's your name ? What have been doing ?"
" I am a Gurkha. My name is Devasing. This open plot that adjoins your land is being built over. The Sheith has engaged me this evening, from next Monday".
" What ?? Your appointment is only today ?" ( Founder seeing, how Mother has made the arrangements for his protection, the very day that he was to come to the solitary " Mai Niwas."
" Yes Sir," I thought " what is the use of loitering here and there "? At about ten o'clock night I decided. " I can go to the place which I can call mine with a right as a Gurkha of the place , wherefrom none can drive me out. So I did not wait for two days more and I came over here. Sir, were you with some man at Santa Cruz Station ? Did you come this night ? "
"Yes, did you see me ? "
"Yes sir, the man returned by the next train . He had some giddiness and pain. So you called but dismissed a taxi. He returned and you came over. Is it not ? I came by the very same train".
"Oh, I see". The Founder was full of wonderfulness and gratitude. Mother had arranged for his guard , just on duty and immediately after him."
"Did you spend your time somewhere ? "
" No sir, I was only following you. I was just lying in a corner on my own land. I saw first it was all dark. Then acme a strong light. I thought there was a electric light , but sometime after there was only a small candle light. So I was surprised and came to inquire."
The Founder swallowed up the answer about " the strong light."
" Yes, Where are you sleeping ? on the ground itself ?" You can sleep here . I have no objection."
The man preferred to sleep on the otta, in open air. The Founder was kind to him that night, gave him servant's bedding, water jug and some tiffin food.
The Gurkha turned out to be religious. He was paid a small pay by the Founder. He served the Founder treating him as his master and Guru, practically till may 1950, when the adjoining plot to the east was constructed and occupied by tenants.
Whenever Founder remembers this event , he sings ," Jao fir Junglemen Ranmen Dekhonge Gulzar hay जाओ फिर जंगलमें रणमें देखोंगे गुलझार है । ." " Go the to a forest, or a desert, everything is O.K."
A palace and a rose garden kept ready by mother for you. This book is for swans. Mother likes to be surrounded with swans whose hearts will overflow with love , cheerfulness and gratitude, on Her showing such playful proofs of acceptance by Her."
AUTHOR : MAI SWARUP MAI MARKAND [ EDITIONS : 1952 & 2007 ]
The most appreciated representation of Mai-ism was at the Universal Religious Alliance World Congress held at Havana in Cuba from 23 October 1959 to 22 January 1960. Mai-ism was explained, discussed and commented upon in the World Congress by Revered Sister Duchesse Blanche Ledran, The Grand Chancellor of the Universal Religious Alliance. Mai-ism received the greatest approbation in this World Congress of the Universal Religious Alliance , which has a standing of over five decades. In fact it is one of the first most important universal religious institutes.
As stated in the Preliminary Report pertaining to the Congress held on 23 October 1959, the complete attendance at the Congress was around 3800 persons 2184 of which intergrated about 318 different official delegations, which came from 96 different countries. The representation was of 449 different sections and sub-sections of religious and various organisations. Further more , 43 countries had sent their official observers. Appreciation and truest understanding about Mai-ism by the said World Congress would be evident from these words; " We have received valuable literature from all quarters of the world, which amply reveals that the regeneration of man as at the hand, as well as that a new age ( Aquarian ) is being ushered in taking shape of a brand new Spiritual Civilisation. We recommend such sources of research. We recommend Mai-ism and the Mai-Institute of Santa Cruz West, Bombay - 54 India." ]
- EXTRACT FROM " MOTHER'S MESSAGE "- PAGE 40 - 41.
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