206. His feelings and decisions may be best described in his own broken rambling and jumping language from his green diary.
" Friday 20 -7- 1945. "
" It is impossible for me to live as a private man either singly or with the family.From the worldly point of view, my wife and children are most unfortunate. Their husband and parent has left very little for them, as he was Mother-mad in matter of spending for Mother; and still he is. He has neither the overflowing public support of the Hindu religious world , nor is the public opinion in India so developed with free thinking and independence of action,as to make people come forward with money to help the religious cause which they actually and honestly hold dear.People are swinging between the old and the new religious ideals and I too am swinging between a recluse and a householder.'s life. people cherish new ideals but support old ones. It is hard to throw off the old yolk and still harder to be fair and liberal to both in the matter of giving solid encouragement. For relief of distress , people come to Mai and for thanksgiving and charity, they go to their old deities temples and ashrams.Mother will be curing and the doctor will be taking fees. Mai will give a prosperous lift, or avert some danger or a calamity through a practical daily programme of mantras, name-repetition , worship, prayer, meditation, , personal guidance, instruction , devotion and the wholesale responsibility and anxiety of the Founder , but the donation will go to some Mataji or any other Hindu deity or to some saint or some Ashram or some secret charity or to adherents friends or relatives.
207. " In these circumstances, I have very little hope of a general public's taking up of the mai cause. If that had been the people's mind , twelve years would not have gone in vain. I have never received any proposal of an arrangement of financing ( even a few chips ), by public or members of the Mother's Lodge or the worship congregation or any individuals , for even the smallest items. The idea itself of meeting expenses by a system of donation or an Institutional fee is quite foreign to me and to others in respect of me , and has never been proposed or accepted by me till now for Mai-activities. What to do is purely and simply a matter of my will, and the responsibility of expenses is similarly , purely and simply mine for undertaking Mai's substantial work such a a printing of books , holding functions , expenses of travelling, correspondence and telegrams, visitors arrangements etc.
208." It will be a happy day if the public takes up the cause, but I think Mother Herself does not wish it , at least at this stage. People's mentality and money are too much polluted to have the fortune of that merit ( Punyam ). Whatever therefore I may be able to do is by way of a personal undertaking with the help of my friends and admirers, if Mother prompts them to help me in their personal capacity., keeping me all the independent and free to do what I like and keeping me in tact and fully conscious of the responsibility that I have to bear , while undertaking any Mai - work.
209." My children are in no way responsible , for whatever I have received or will receive for Mother's work in future , in case Mother decides to bring Her work to a prosperous countable stage. Nor they have any claim over the property registered in my name as President of Mother's lodge or the head of any Ashram or a Mohant of a temple after the date a Lodge is formed registered or funds for an ashram or a temple are collected by legally appointed trustees.
210. " If mother wishes to let loose the floodgates of public sympathy, co-operation and religious enthusiasm , coming forward with men, money and material, I am keeping my doors open.If public wants to take up Mother's cause, nothing like it.I am every inch of my body and mind, heart and soul, at the disposal of the public.But only to serve as a seed, if the world is prepared with its spirit of serving others and Mother and Mother's children in every manner, financially, mentally and physically, to grow up the Mai garden for my Mother.
211. " If either the public in an organised form or a registered society of my friends and admirers or members of a registered Institute paying regular fees and donations under rules and regulations come forth to take up Mai's cause , matters will be decided in future regarding any properties acquired by any such Institute , when such an organised registered institute or a society will come into being.That shall be after that , funds may flow in by the exertions and influence of such an Institute, society or its members and in the respect of the property they earn and funds they collect. But if there be nothing of the kind , let me die peacefully, with no public harassment to my family , wife, children.
212. "The property which I posses at the time of my death, is my personal one , with all responsibility worried through by me, and neither the public nor any private persons or any society has any right to that property.If the Mai activity takes no shape of an organised and legalised form , the property goes as a personal property automatically to my wife and children , who have suffered more than enough, not only by being deprived of the services of a father , who could have earned and continued to earn even after retirement, as most of people do in these extremely hard living time , but also because their father did not save money on considering mother's cause as his own personal cause; resulting in a loss to the family and family comforts . I am not referring to so many hardships which a devotee's wife and children are most automatically put to as a result of being in closest relation touch.
213." There should be absolutely no scope for misunderstanding which may create troubles in future. All money that I have received and will receive, is by way of Mother's Grace to me while praying hard to remove miseries of different types or as a personal recognition of the work I am doing or out of love and respect personally for me. It is only my fad and fancy ?, my will and discretion , that I spend these amounts for Mother's work, which any other man would have utilised for his personal or family purposes ,as a remuneration of his labors or worries , etc. as freehold money of one's own earning and ownership. "
214. Mother save me from that formidable future which so many saints in this most tomtommed religious country, have suffered from. The western ideal says," Never think or speak ill of the dead ." In India the people revolve hundred pedigrees of their saints just at the time of or immediately after their death.
That is the highest homage Hindus can pay to its saints; to inflict of them the punishment of living most poorly during their life-time , or to die with a troubled and agitated heart on the death-bed.
215. And all that misfortune is there because religion and religious working has to be and is being done in chaotic unsystematic, irresponsible, slip-shod unsympathetic and a whirl-wind or river-flood manner.
216. It is interesting to have a complete view, as I have formed about a saint's life in India. The substance is this.There is nothing supreme as the Ideology and practical true living as Hinduism and Hindu-istic living and nothing more chaotic and jumbled as the Hindu living.The result is , sufferers suffer and exploiters exploit in the realm of religion. Religion is the strongest cantilever in the hands of the wicked to crush the religiously weak.The irreligious , they can't dare touch. Righteous and good and truely religious are few. Let them be few but they are extremely weak and ever giving away , and indifferent, and living Religion and truely Religious people to take care of themselves. The many are experts of exploitation and are strong.As a result, Religion as whole suffers tremendously. We want strength with Religiosity and system and charity, in a word, a constitutional method of preaching, practising and protecting Religion, for Hinduism generally as a whole.
[ Mai-ism was represented at All Faiths' Conference at Nasik (India) in 1933 and the Indian Philosophical Congress at Poona (India) in 1934. Maiji was invited to Japan for the World Religious Congress in 1955. Maiji was the Sub-Councillor-in-Chief of the International Religion Federation which was started in Japan in 1955.
The most appreciated representation of Mai-ism was at the Universal Religious Alliance World Congress held at Havana in Cuba from 23 October 1959 to 22 January 1960. Mai-ism was explained, discussed and commented upon in the World Congress by Revered Sister Duchesse Blanche Ledran, The Grand Chancellor of the Universal Religious Alliance. Mai-ism received the greatest approbation in this World Congress of the Universal Religious Alliance , which has a standing of over five decades. In fact it is one of the first most important universal religious institutes.